Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you. The sky’s are clear, the trees are green, and the mountains are high but just for today have it your way..~ Aldous Huxley
Posts tagged ‘blended families’
Most common misinformation on Grief
Today is a great day to begin your healing process. After you get pass the misinformation replace it with love.
Time heals. Time does not heal, action within time
does. We know people who have waited 10, 20, 30 or
even 40 years to feel better.
Grieve alone. Often this advice is subtly implied,
“Give your mom her space” or “He just needs a few
minutes alone in the other room.” As children, we
learn that this means that sad feelings should be
hidden or experienced alone.
Be strong. Usually the Griever is asked to be strong
for others. “You have to be strong for your [wife]” or
“Be strong for your children.”
Don’t feel bad. This is usually followed by an
intellectually true statement but is not helpful at all
to the Griever, “Don’t feel bad, his su_ering is over.”
or “Don’t feel bad, at least you knew her as long as
Replace the loss. This is common with pet loss or
the end of a romantic relationship. “On Tuesday
we’ll get you a new dog” or “There are plenty of fish
in the sea. You just have to get out there and date
again.” Most likely there has been no action taken to
grieve over the loss of the pet or relationship, just an
attempt at not feeling the emotions attached to the
Keep busy. “If I just keep busy then I won’t have
time to think about the loss.” This one is sad
because some people spend their whole lives with
this mentality and never get a chance to grieve and
complete what was unfinished with the particular
Recovering from a significant emotional loss is not
an easy task. Taking the actions that lead to
recovery will require your attention,
open-mindedness, willingness, and courage. It not the in but a new beginning.
Except from The Grief Recovery Method, griefrecoverymethod.com
Every family has drama, how you deal with this dramatic experience will leave you one of several ways. Depressed, anger, having negative thoughts, or maybe walking out. Yes you may add to the list! Point being, you’re not in this alone. The stage has now been set, dad has had a bad day at work, same for mom at home, little Johnny or Jane at school and home is the battleground.
Here’s a thought: Someone needs to take charge, will it be you or the kids?
If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent. ~Bette Davis
1. Grief is the normal and natural reaction to significant emotional loss of any kind.
2. Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior.
3. Grief is the feeling of reaching out for someone who has always been there, only to find when you need them again, they are no longer there.
The good news is you’re not allow.
Your son will return but will you receive him with open arms. The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) gives us God’s response to a rebellious child. Possibly the hardest guideline to follow in this story is how the father allowed his son to take his inheritance and make his own choices. He did not run after his son and beg him to return, nor did he continually berate him for his foolish ways. His son was of age and solely responsible for his actions (Deuteronomy 24:16, Proverbs 1:29-31). This doesn’t mean that the father didn’t love his son. In verse 20 we are told that he saw his son returning from along way off. This implies that his father was watching for his son daily, dearly hoping for him to return and repent. This is not easy but, if we have shared the Gospel and the instructions that the Bible has given us with our children, the final decision to live a Godly life lies with each individual.
My biological mother passed some 14 years ago and during her sickness my stepmother always made herself available. Now, I’m older, wiser and truly understand the importance of family.
My stepmother loves me unconditionally just like the Lord; despite my faults. Now, it’s my turn to be a blessing to her by assisting my half-siblings to care give for her. Oh, what a blessing…
Can you forget about yourself and bless a family member in spite of how they may have treated you growing up? Just a thought!
Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort,
but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge.
Here let him learn to stand up in the storm;
here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clear,
whose goal will be high,
a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men,
one who will reach into the future,
yet never forget the past.
And, after all these things are his,
give him, I pray, enough of a sense of humor,
so that he may always be serious,
yet never take himself too seriously.
Give him humility,
so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness,
the open mind of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper,
‘I have not lived in vain.’
Blended families have several challenges and barriers. One serious problem that escalates out of control is the way the new husband and wife feels about their kid(s). Better known as the Kid Factor! Each is committed to his or her own flesh and blood, while they’re merely acquainted with the other(s). The problem is when kid(s) sense tension between the parents, they will use it as an opportunity to exploit the situation to their advantage. Therefore, set boundaries for both sets of siblings. Discuss between husband and wife who should handle the discipline and how. Then share these new rules with everyone. I like to call the Barrier Dissolver! Just remember love is the key to barrier breaker.
Are you ready for a change in your life? A new adventure, new scenery, new love, new attitude, new home, whatever your desire it begins with you. Just know changes come with a price. It’s like being in the hand of a potter; being remolded or reshaped. The end result is unknown. The bottom-line change is for the best….. GET READY FOR A CHANGE TODAY!
This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it
for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes,
this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind … let it be something good.